


Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of...

by missauburnleaf



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Aromantic, Asexuality Spectrum, Demisexuality, Divorce, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Feels, Fígrid February, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Platonic Romance, Polyamory, Romantic Friendship, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2018-12-30 06:23:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missauburnleaf/pseuds/missauburnleaf
Summary: Turbulent times in Erebor.... While Kíli married his elf accidentally, Fíli has no say in choosing his bride, his uncle and the new crowned King of Dale have arranged a marriage between their heirs in order to strengthen the bond between their realms.





	1. Deal

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a quotation from "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte.  
> Honestly, guys, what do you think?

“You can't be serious, Uncle!” Fíli exclaimed while jumping up from his chair, his hands balled into fists.

Nervously, Kíli looked between his brother and the King under the Mountain who was regally sitting at the council table, still breathing heavily due to his pierced lung, yet the affairs of the state needed to be settled as soon as possible.

“Do you see me laughing, Fíli? Of course I'm serious! That's how things are done in the world of men,” Thorin said in a grave tone.

“But... It's against our customs! And, by the way, she is still a child,” Fíli argued, sitting down slowly and wincing since his own battle wound was bothering him.

“She is sixteen, almost seventeen, and, as we have been reassured, perfectly of age with regard to getting married in the eyes of her people,” Balin answered, his hands playing nervously with the scroll he was holding.

“So, that's it, then? In order to validate our alliance with the newfound City of Dale I have to marry their princess, King Bard's oldest daughter?” Fíli asked, yet it wasn't really a question but a realisation.

Kíli wanted to console him by saying that it could have been worse, that Fíli could have been obliged to marry King Bard's youngest daughter, little Tilda, only nine summers old, yet he somehow felt that this would have been bad taste.

“And Bard is okay with this?” Fíli wanted to know, his voice strained.

“King Bard knows what is necessary and some things need to be done, whether one likes it or not,” Thorin answered evasively.

“What about Sigrid?” Fíli further pressed.

Thorin shrugged. “She took it better than you, saying that she is glad to get married to someone she already knows and likes and who lives nearby her own home, not some stranger from far away,” he declared.

Kíli almost snorted. He knew Sigrid, the practical and headstrong girl who had been able to even intimidate Dwalin when the grumpy old warrior had dared to put his feet on her kitchen table.

Yet Fíli seemed to contemplate this information. Then, he finally nodded.

“All right, when she can manage, I can too. It's not like this would be a real marriage, meaning that we might be forced to live together, yet we will be able to live our separate lives, won't we? Separate bedrooms, different tasks and so on. We'll just have to sign contracts in front of everyone, braid each other's hair like it's the custom of our people, exchange rings like it's the custom of hers, won't we?” Fíli reasoned.

The look that Balin and Thorin exchanged made Kíli suspicious. And not only him but also his brother.

“What?” asked Fíli, frowning.

Balin cleared his throat before revealing, “Well, it's different in the world of men. In order to validate a marriage, it has to be consummated. The bloodstained bedsheets after the wedding night will prove that.”

Well, that was not what Kíli had expected, yet he couldn't understand Fíli's devastated expression. He acted as if Sigrid was some ogress, not some pretty, young girl!

“Come on, Fí, it could be worse... Sigrid is rather pleasant to look at, you shouldn't have a problem to... _perform_ ,” he said, clapping his brother on the shoulder.

To his surprise, Fíli turned towards him, a scowl on his face that rivalled their uncle's and their mother's.

“Shut up, will you? It's all your fault! Because you couldn't keep it in your pants, we are in this dilemma now!” the blond dwarf hissed and to see the enmity in his brother's eyes made Kíli flinch.

“Hey, that's not fair! We were on the eve of an epic battle, not knowing if we would survive and I wanted her so much! It's not my fault that elves have such strange marriage customs,” Kíli defended himself.

“Fíli! Turning against your brother is futile! What's done is done and since we are Thranduil's public enemy now due to your brother's indiscretion, we need to find allies wherever possible,” Thorin said sternly.

“Yeah, sure, Kíli can do whatever he wants, even accidentally marrying an elf and I'm the one who has to do what is right and sensible,” Fíli responded, yet sitting down again, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Fíli! Do you think that my youngest nephew marrying an elf doesn't bother me? Of course it does! Yet I had no other choice than to condone this union once I've found out because if I hadn't Thranduil would have declared war on us!” Thorin retorted and Kíli lowered his gaze. Somehow this conversation had deviated from Fíli and his duty to marry a girl he barely knew to him and his elven bride.

Balin cleared his throat again. “By the way, Kíli, how is Tauriel? Óin told me that she had been unwell the last couple of days?” He tried to make conversation in order to lighten the mood; it worked to a certain degree though Thorin and Fíli were still glaring daggers at each other.

“Oh, erm, I think better? I don't know Balin, I'm sorry, Tauriel and I don't talk that much,” he confessed, earning a snort from his brother in the process.

Somehow, this made Kíli furious. “It's not like you think, Fí! It's just that I don't really see her anymore- I'm busy with council meetings and the restoring of Erebor and she is busy with learning our customs, our language, our history and culture,” he elaborated.

Balin nodded while smiling indulgently. “Don't worry, lad. Yet you should try to find time to talk to your wife. She might have some unexpected yet happy news for you,” Balin revealed and Kíli thought he understood.

“You mean... she is...” he started, yet not being able to finish the sentence.

Balin winked at him. “Maybe,” was all he said.

 

 


	2. Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your kind comments convinced me to continue and also did wonders for my creativity!  
> Thank you!

When Kíli entered the chambers he shared with his wife, he immediately knew that something was wrong. There was no warm, roaring fire in the hearth and it was absolutely dark and quiet - except for the silent sobs, coming from their huge four-poster-bed.

"Tauriel?" he asked and as a result his wife tried to subdue her sobs.

What happened?

Normally, Kíli would have a bath or a wash when coming home but it appeared that his wife was devastated. Why?

He crossed the room, stopping in front of his wife's side of the bed. "Tauriel," he whispered, placing his hand on her bare shoulder since she was only wearing a nightgown.

"Don't touch me!", she hissed.

Kíli was confused. Hadn't Balin been talking about happy news? Well, according to Tauriel's reaction she was anything but happy.

"Tauriel, Balin told me you went to see Óin about your symptoms... What did he tell you?", Kíli wanted to know, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I don't want to talk about it," she answered, turning away from him.

Kíli sighed.

Being married to a Prince of Erebor, being trapped inside the mountain wasn't good for her. He could tell that his wife had lost her wild and rebellious spirit he had fallen in love with, trying to satisfy everyone's expectations, trying to be a good Princess, a good wife...

"Tauriel, as the Prince of Erebor and your husband I demand to know what is wrong with you!" he declared, hating to abuse his title and position.

Yet he knew that Tauriel was banned from ever returning to Mirkwood for she was considered to be an elf "with loose morals" since she gave her body and soul willingly to a _dwarf_ , so he and his kin were the only allies, friends and family she had left.

Tauriel sighed, rolling unto her back, staring at the canopy of their marriage bed.

"I thought that there was a new life growing inside of me... But the infant died. Óin confirmed it today. I've been bleeding and cramping all afternoon and the infant is expelled from my body while we talk!" she finally confessed.

The baby, his baby, had died even before being born? He knew that something like this could happen since his own mother had to go through with what was called a miscarriage when Kíli had only been nine years old. The experience had estranged her from her then life-partner, Master Dwalin, his and Fíli's sire, because it was considered to be his fault, that his seed had been too weak to take root in his partner's body somehow, and Fíli and Kíli's parents had never been able to overcome the loss, finally leading to their separation, leading to Master Dwalin, a former war hero, to now living in shame since his wife had divorced him.

Kíli felt his heart break.

"Oh, Tauriel, I'm so, so sorry! I've just learned from Balin today that you might be expecting... But... When... Why...?" he babbled.

Tauriel took a deep, shaking breath. "They suspect that our races are too different... That we will never have a child together, that our marriage is futile!"

Her words hurt him deeply.

How could this be? How could the Valar be that cruel by letting one of the eldar and one of Mahal's own creation falling in love with each other, just to decide that the fruit of their love was not able to survive?

"I don't believe it!" he firmly said, grabbing her shoulder maybe a little too hard since she winced.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he immediately mumbled, loosening his grip.

Tauriel, however, snorted. "But you have, haven't you? You don't know what the creation of a new life means for my people! It's the greatest bliss for a couple to reproduce, to show that their love for each other would be embodied in a child! But when I spread my legs for you, I unwillingly sacrificed any offspring I would ever have to death!" she spat.

Kíli gasped. There was so much venom in her voice, so much hatred...

"Okay, I take it that you don't like me right now... It's your decision, Tauriel. Since females are rare among my race, they have every right to do with their husbands as they please... we can end our marriage, if you want to..." he explained and this time it was Tauriel who gasped, sitting up.

"But I can't! According to elven law, we are spouses for all eternity since I have given myself to you!" she confessed.

Kíli simply closed his eyes. Yes, they were doomed...

"All right, then we will just have to make this work!"

Tauriel lowered her gaze, while nodding and biting her lip. "Yes, we will..."

And Kíli didn't now why, but when he embraced his wife in order to give her some comfort while receiving comfort from her closeness as well, it made him think about his big brother and what he would have to face by marrying someone from a different race... Somehow he didn't think that marriage was such a nice concept...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm curious about what you think!


	3. Festivities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Sigrid's wedding is a splendid affair...

Of course, Fíli and Sigrid's wedding was a splendid affair; emissaries from almost all kingdoms and counties were sent to take part, bringing gifts and give their best wishes for the unusual yet official union between a dwarven prince and a human princess (since apparently, as rumour had it, trysts between the two races amongst the common folk happened more often than one thought).

Kíli somehow felt bad for Tauriel because their wedding feast had been a rather quiet affair, with only the dwarves of Erebor and of the Iron Hills, the people of Dale (including the new royal family) and a delegation from Mirkwood taking part - which was due to the fact that the official dwarven wedding had to take place very soon after the battle for obvious reasons.

However, Kíli didn't regret his and Tauriel's indiscretion on the Eve of the Battle of the Five Armies, again for obvious reasons.

Just thinking back to their first time made him smile even now; Tauriel had been so passionate and loving back then, contrary to her rather cold behaviour towards him now.

The Battle had taken place over four moons ago and ever since Tauriel had lost their first child only a couple of weeks after conception, she obviously couldn't stand his touch any more... Meaning that they were still sharing a bed but had not been intimate since _then..._

Kíli didn't care.

Opposite to what his brother and uncle thought, his love for the elven-maid was not solely based on physical attraction... Of course, he appreciated her silky, red hair, her slim and athletic figure (especially her long, toned legs and small, ample breasts, so different from the dwarrowdams he knew), but to him her free, wild and rebellious spirit was more important, their shared dreams and interests was what actually had made him fall in love with her back then, when he had been her prisoner.

So, yes, even now, at the spring equinox (a perfect date for the wedding according to Óin, symbolising fertility), Kíli didn't regret his rather rushed marriage to Tauriel. However, he didn't know how Tauriel felt about it.

Maybe she had thought that she would die in the Battle, meaning that her actions before wouldn't be of any importance.

But she had survived, as had he, his brother and his uncle; to some it appeared to be some kind of miracle that the deadly wounded king and his heirs had survived their battle wounds and settled down somehow; Kíli with his elven bride, Thorin with their Hobbit, the burglar, the War Hero, Bilbo Baggins (whom he was currently sharing with his sister after her arrival), and now Fíli, obviously, with the Princess of Dale, Sigrid, King Bard's daughter.

The girl looked splendid in her white, silken dress (King Thranduil's contribution), embroidered with gold threads (King Thorin's contribution), the festive hairstyle (including some dwarven braids Fíli himself had woven into her dark golden curls, like the traditional betrothal braid and the braid that identified her intended to be the Prince of Erebor, Thorin's heir in particular; later, Fíli had confided in Kíli that it had felt rather intimate to touch her like that during their engagement party).

Fíli, however, didn't look that bad himself today, wearing a blue, linen tunic, brown, patent leather britches and matching boots, a beige, fur-lined vest, his crooked betrothal braid (Sigrid had placed it there, her hands being rather unpractised when it had come to dwarven braid patterns) and the braid that identified him as King Thorin's heir.

He was flanked by their mother and Thorin; since their parents' divorce, Dwalin had only played a minor role in Fíli and Kíli's lives, so it was not surprising that Thorin as the king as well as their mother's older brother and her only living family aside from her sons took over the role of their father during the ceremony.

After Sigrid and Fíli (and their respective guardians) had signed the marriage contract, after adding a drop of their blood to a silver goblet of Dorwinion Wine from which they both drank, after exchanging golden wedding bands and putting marriage braids into each other's hair, they were officially bonded (according to dwarven law, at least), meaning that the real festivities could begin.

Thorin and Bard had raised a toast to the future of their joined kingdoms and after that it was only supposed to be food and cheer and laughter.

Kíli noticed that Hobbits were rather lightweights when it came to serious drinking, for Bilbo's cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright while he was looking at the King under the Mountain and the Princess (although Thorin planned to name Dís, his sister, the Queen under the Mountain as soon as the whole wedding between his oldest nephew and King Bard's oldest daughter was over).

"Kíli, I think I'll retire, I'm still not well enough for this," Tauriel suddenly whispered into his ear, looking breathtakingly beautiful in her shoulder-free dress, consisting of a black, embroidered bodice, a turquoise-and-bronze-striped skirt and matching batwing sleeves. It was the first time after her miscarriage that she partook in any kind of celebration.

"I'll escort you to our rooms," Kíli answered, not drunk enough to ignore the horny glances some other young, male and single dwarrows were sending into his wife's direction, being deluded by the myth that elves were rather sensual creatures, enjoying and providing sexual pleasures generously... Yes, it was true that elves enjoyed their sexuality, but only with their One, their partner for all eternity, their spouse... Yet, how should those stupid dwarves know?

Kíli himself had believed this myth to be true when he had slept with Tauriel for the very first time all those months ago... Until she had revealed to him what the act had actually meant to her, resulting in their crossbow wedding... But the past was in the past; Kíli forbid those dark thoughts to control his mind right now.

This was his brother's wedding, he should be celebrating the future, not contemplating the past! And considering the way Fíli was always speaking about his pretty bride and the way he looked at her now, Kíli was convinced that there would soon be some little copies of Fíli and Sigrid running around Erebor (and yes, due to the portends Óin had read at their engagement party, the old healer was convinced that Fíli and Sigrid's offspring would be able to survive, contrary to Kíli and Tauriel's).

As soon as the spare - as Kíli humorously called himself - and Tauriel got up, Fíli and Sigrid were turning towards them with identical expressions of surprise and panic.

"You're leaving already?", they asked simultaneously and Kíli would have laughed if it had been anyone else but his beloved older brother and his pretty, innocent bride.

"Yeah, Tauriel is tired and needs some rest, so...," he answered, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, not wanting Fíli to know that his relationship with the elf was rather strained at the moment.

Fíli only rolled his eyes, groaning, while Sigrid looked straight out afraid, obviously realising that tonight she would be _sharing_ Fíli's bed in a similar fashion... If only Kíli and his wife had these kind of relations any longer.

 


	4. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they reached their chambers, Tauriel unexpectedly turned towards him.  
> "I'm sorry, Kíli," she whispered, lowering her gaze and biting her lower lip...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kíli and Tauriel finally make up!

When they reached their chambers, Tauriel unexpectedly turned towards him.

"I'm sorry, Kíli," she whispered, lowering her gaze and biting her lower lip.

"What for?" Kíli asked, drawing his eyebrows together, fearing that despite the marriage customs of her people she had finally decided to divorce him.

Tauriel took a deep breath, reaching for his hands. "For shutting you out," she finally confessed and Kíli felt relief wash over him.

"Oh, Tauriel, you don't have to apologise. You were hurting after losing our child. It's normal," he tried to reassure her, instinctively entwining his fingers with hers.

His beautiful wife, however, shook her head. "No, it's not normal to treat your husband as if it was his fault... You were hurting too, it was your child as well!" she said vehemently.

Kíli shrugged. "It's different for females, though, since it happens to their body. Mahal, when my mother miscarried her third child, she wouldn't even get out of bed for over a month - my uncle had to help her bathing, making sure she was eating and drinking enough to not succumb to death," he revealed a very dark part of his childhood. He had been so little back then and really worried that his mama would die like the child in her belly.

"Your mother miscarried?" Tauriel asked totally surprised, studying him with her beautiful hazel eyes.

Kíli nodded. "Yeah, I was only nine then and hoping for a little sister - since I knew how much trouble I was, I wished for Mama's new baby to be a girl, somehow imagining that girls were always sweet and gentle and would only mean a lot of cuddles and giggles," he explained.

Tauriel smiled sadly. "Oh, believe me, girls can be as much trouble as boys, just ask Thranduil and Legolas about the time when I was little... But I feel so sorry for your mother! She always seems to be so tough and serene... I would have never imagined that she had gone through such a traumatic experience," she said.

Kíli just shrugged. "Don't underestimate my mother... She has been through a lot, not only losing a baby but also her parents, her grandfather and her brother. Yet I think that divorcing my father was one of the hardest decisions she had to make," he disclosed.

"Divorcing?" Tauriel asked, drawing her eyebrows together.

Kíli sighed. Of course, considering her people's marriage customs, she didn't know the term.

"My mother decided that she no longer wanted to be married to my father. So he moved out and lost all of his paternal rights over Fíli and me, that's why Thorin always plays this part in my brother's and my life," he explained.

Her eyebrows still drawn together, Tauriel nodded slowly. "That makes sense. I know that the marriage customs of your people differ from mine. But doesn't it sound cruel to you? Being rejected like that by your one true love?" she asked.

Kíli thought about it for a moment. "In a way, yes, but when you find out that being with your partner causes you only pain, it's better to go separate ways. Both of you might be unhappy, yet at least you are no longer hurting each other, even if you only did it involuntarily," he philosophized.

She seemed to contemplate his reply, then she wanted to know, "Who was your father?"

Kíli looked deeply into her eyes. "You know him. It's Dwalin," he finally said.

"That makes sense. Yet you should know, Kíli, that I would never wish for _divorcing_ you, even if I could. I think... I think I haven't made this clear over the last couple of months. Let me make it up to you tonight..." she vowed and then she kissed him softly on the lips.

Kíli was reeling.

They hadn't kissed in months and it took all of Kíli's willpower to not drag her down to the floor and make love to her then and there.

However, he deepened the kiss, putting his hands on her hips, pulling her body close.

After some time, Tauriel drew back from the kiss and took his hand into hers. "Let's take this to the bedroom!" she suggested and without a complaint, Kíli followed her lead.

 


End file.
